G.O.U.G.E or 'rasslin' in downtown Raleigh

It must have been sometime way back in the early 60's when I attended my first pro wrestling match. The Masked Medics or The Infernos tag team match against maybe Swede Hansen, Rip "The Profile" Hawk, The Bolos, I'm not really sure. It was at the old Peninsula Grays minor league baseball park up in the tidewater area of Virginia. I went with my uncle Paul. First and last time.

I think it was the Medics that had a "manager" called Jake, or maybe it was Homer O'Dell or JC Dykes. Anyway, he had a cane and would beat hell out of the opponents with the cane while the team occupied the ref. You know, crowd baiting stuff. They wanted you to HATE them.

I hadn't thought too much about professional wrestling since then until recently when a friend became involved in GOUGE. That's gimmicks only grappling underground entertainment. http://www.gougewrestling.com/

I had been hearing a bit about wrestling at Kings Barcade but thought little of it until Tennessee Ernie Nord from the pea pickin' fiords of the northland, northern backwoods Tennessee I'm guessing; invited us to come on down.

Well, we missed it for three-four months running but ole Ern, is one persistent hillbilly Viking; he threatened to sic the God of Thunder on us, so we finally decided to check it out Wednesday last, July 19th. Being on the guest list is a nice touch (thanks Ernie) and PBR was twofer three bucks. It's hard to beat that with Jake's rosewood cane.

I don't know a thing or two about pro wrestling. I don't know the ins, the outs, I'm not hip to the lingo or the secret handshake of wrestling. I know Jerry "The King" Lawler took out his frustration on Andy Kaufmann's head when he refused to give up his wrestling "career" and I know Terry "Hulk Hogan" Bollea put Richard Belzer to sleep on national TV and it only cost him about a million and a half dollars. And Jesse Ventura for whatever reason became the Governor of Minnesota.

We wander in and find that a front row seat has been saved for us. Cool. We cop a couple of those cheapie Papst's and get set for the evening's entertainment. The audience is already primed. Some had been here before. We are warned that our virgin ears will be gutter snipping sluts before the opening bell. Obviously this is going to be an audience participation event. This was going to be fun. The eclectic crowd is a mixed bag of young old loud and demure, complete with such intellectual social comment as "you suck!".

The opening card is the mentally fragile Scab vs Seymour Snott. I don't remember who won. Does it matter? Wallabee Joe then vanquished Go Go the Gay Gorilla, leaving his banana and his Barbie prone on the crimson carpet. KC Knight got the better of the crowd and Chief Jay Swampwater.

I won't attempt to describe every turn buckle slam, every contested two count from Mr. Jolly every chop to the breastplate or every painful wince but believe me it was quite a spectacle.

Gluteus Maximus, Yuk, Mudface, T-Dawg HG, Otto, Blackie Chan, Luther, Cowboy Willie and Tennessee Ernie Nord; all great performers, so do yourself a favor, the next time GOUGE comes to your town, check it out. Hey, this is just like slam dancing without the screaming guitars.